Natural Wedding Hair and I Don't Care
2015 has been a busy year. What with moving house and giving birth to our third daughter there has been enough excitement for a good while. I've also been working on a few natural hair projects one of which was doing a friend's hair for her wedding at the end of the summer. This was an excellent experience but nerve wracking to say the least. I thoroughly enjoyed the time experimenting with styles and discovering how my friends twa 4C hair reacted to different products and techniques.
During one of our hair consultations I mentioned how I really admired her for going against the grain and wearing her natural hair for her wedding day, I wish I had done the same for mine! We got onto the subject of how some people around her reacted to her decision to wear her natural hair. Sadly there wasn't much encouragement. "Aren't you going to get a weave?" Some asked. When my friend refused a weave, others even suggested that "You could get a natural looking weave?". I personally thought this was very rude as it implied that her natural hair wasn’t good enough.
What a shame. Despite these discouragements my friend went ahead and commissioned me to work on creating a simple wedding style with her natural hair without the use of extensions, weaves or wigs. She really wanted to feel and look like herself on her special day so she didn't succumb to the pressure to conform to what other people thought was the 'appropriate' type of hair to have for a wedding.
So here was the finished style. She chose a perm rod set with a loose flat twisted bang. Her beaded hair band and pearl bobby pins were from Accessorize. I used Cantu Shea Butter as the leave-in, coconut oil for sealing and shine and Creme Of Nature’s Moroccan Argan oil Foaming Wrap Lotion for the set. For a little edge control I used ORS Olive Oil Edge Control.
So are you thinking about your wedding day hair?
Here are three things I would consider:
1. Make Sure You are Comfortable with Your Hair on the Day
Don't let others tell you you must not do this or that because it's your wedding day. If you're someone who always wears a weave or wig because you're unsure about how to adequately care for and style your natural hair (because you’re new to this natural hair stuff) then perhaps doing an all natural style for your wedding day may not be for you at the moment.
Although, if you have the confidence, I would of course encourage you months before the wedding to at least try some styles on your natural hair to see whether you can make it work for you and feel at ease with the styles. If not, then by all means wear your hair in a style YOU are comfortable with, and if that means using extensions or attachments then so be it! When I first big chopped there were many times I just didn't know what to do with my hair and if someone came to me and said I MUST wear my natural hair out for an occasion I know I wouldn’t have been confident because I just wasn't ready early on in my journey. I didn't know enough and I was still learning how to manage and style my hair. On the other hand of course, if you're someone who does rock your natural hair on a regular basis then don't feel you have to suddenly change the way you look to please others on your special day just because they don't deem natural hair to be acceptable for an occasion.
2. Remember Natural Hair Can Look Good For a Special Occasion
Whether you're the bride or a guest don't limit yourself by believing you simply can't create something truly lovely with your hair. Even if you have problems areas you can try and work around those and see what can be done despite your issues. My friend had an area at the back of her head where the hair was very short but we worked round this by carefully considering the placement of the accessories and the hair at her crown. Be sure to meet well in advance with your stylist so you can be sure that the style you want actually works. Ensure you do a couple of trial runs until the style is just right.
3. Remember It's Natural Hair - Embrace Its Qualities.
If you are choosing to wear a natural style then don’t fight against your unique texture and pattern. Seek out styles that accentuate the features your hair possesses. Natural hair has fantastic sculptural aspects - use them! . Consider your head and face shape and hair length. Look for examples online which are a close match to your own desired look and see how you can adapt those styles to suit you. My friend was happy to work with the fact that her hair has tight kinks and coils and refused to lay completely flat around her edges. She was comfortable with her hair type and at the end of the day it didn’t actually matter whether a few coils sprung up here and there. She was comfortable embracing her natural beauty and if I must say so myself, she looked stunning.
Stay true to yourself.